The Wrong Path
by heather8
Summary: Ever wonder how Larry coped with the whole breaking up situation? Well here it is, Larry's point of view on everything that happened. And by the way, Larry curses quite a bit, so if that offends, then don't read, otherwise, the rest of the content is perf


TITLE: The Wrong Path  
AUTHOR: Heather  
SUMMARY: Ever wonder how Larry coped with the whole breaking up situation? Well here it is, Larry's point of view on everything that happened.   
RELATIONSHIP: Ally/Larry of course :)  
RATING: I'm gonna say R because Larry curses quite a bit…  
DISTRIBUTION: of course, but ask :)  
DISCLAIMER: not mine, all DEK'S don't you DARE sue me! I'm just having fun!  
SPOILERS: the episodes "Home Again" and "The Wedding" of the 4th season.  
NOTES: Well, I've been by myself a lot laytely, so I decided to write something to cheer me up, this, kind of, did it, but it's still kind of depressing to think about from my point of view. I had a lot of fun writing Larry, I hope it's right. This is the first time I've ever really written something from a person's point of view, so it was rather difficult. Be kind! lol, no really, any kind of feedback, good or bad, is welcome. My aim is to please, so tell me what would have made this better for you if it doesn't live up to what you had hoped for or wanted, kay! Love to all!  
  
  
"I failed as a husband, I failed as a father; I would be lying if I said I understood what makes me fail, and, it would be the biggest lie to say that I'd never fail again." It was simple as that. I took one more look at Ally, sighed, and walked away. I walked away from her forever. I guess maybe I was half expecting her to come after me, but then again, maybe not; I mean she DID break up with me because she didn't trust me. It's funny you know, I can't imagine life without her, but for some reason, something's keeping me from imagining life with her. All I would do is fail her.  
I left Cage and Fish and headed to my office. I knew that that would end up being my home for now until I found a new place to stay. As I'm walking down the streets, I'm remembering all the times Ally and me walked home. Every night, I'd wrap my arm around her and clutch her hand in mine and we'd reflect. Trial after trial, what brought life to ours, like the "little people" case. I laugh as I think about it now, it's funny, how she got all worked up. I remember her words exactly, 'you're already on thin ice for not loving me if I were half my size.'   
Well I'm here, my office, my lonely existence. I hope Coretta isn't here; I don't want to talk to anyone right now. Well, so much for being alone.  
"Larry, hi, I was on my way out," Coretta started and then she looked at me. "Are you all right?"   
I looked at her and nodded slightly, I couldn't speak.  
"Larry," she stopped and her eyes got soft. "What happened this time, did you talk to her?"   
I couldn't talk; I just nodded and looked down at the floor, playing with my tie. I wonder what Coretta's thinking, probably what a major screw-up I am. I sigh and look back up at her. Somehow, I get the strength to speak. "It's over Coretta, we didn't speak much and I told her what a failure I was and then I, and then I walked away. She didn't follow me."  
Coretta got that look on face she does whenever she's mad at the way I've handled things. "Now Larry, you listen to me! Just because she didn't follow you doesn't mean she doesn't love you or want to be with you. Maybe you shouldn't have walked away."  
"Okay Coretta," I started to get snappy, "I don't wanna hear it from you right now, okay? Just," I stopped and looked at her, she had that 'what the hell' look on her face. "Just go home," and I walked past her into my office. She seemed stunned and looked back at me, then left, shaking her head simultaneously.   
Alone? Again? At last? Oh I don't know what! Do I want to be alone? No, of course not. Do I want to be married? Who knows! Do I want Ally, yes…I do. But can I have her, no, I cannot.  
  
***  
  
Well so much for sleep, I'm tossing and turning on this VERY uncomfortable couch and I can't think of a single thing I want more than to be next to Ally in her warm bed. No, no, no, I have to be strong. I will just hurt her again. The sun's coming up and blinding me, but I still stare at it, hoping to find an answer. Well, I know what my answer is, but I don't like it. I have to say goodbye. Plain and simple. I get up and walk down to the bathroom. You know, sometimes, when you stare at yourself in the mirror long enough, you see nothing. When I look in the mirror at myself, all I see is failure stamped across my forehead, in a nutshell, that is my own personal nothing. There's nothing I can do to fix it. All I can do is drag people along with me for the ride. This is so incredibly wrong. I won't do that to Ally. Not anymore.   
  
***  
  
Well, here I am, doing what I know I have to do.   
"Elaine?" I tap Elaine's shoulder and she whips around.   
"Larry, hi. Um, Ally isn't here," she's looking at me funny. She knows, great.  
"Well, um, actually, that's okay, I just wanted to leave her this," I handed Elaine a sealed note. She looked at me even more strangely and then took it.   
"Well, I'll, see that she gets it," she mustered a half-smile; I could tell that it was fake.   
"Um, okay, well then I'll be going," I walked away from her and could feel her and everyone else staring at me. I took my glasses off and started to wash them with my tie as the elevator door closed and I began to descend.   
  
***  
  
A week has gone by and I have done nothing but mope around. I've tried to bury myself in my work, but it's just not a strong enough distraction. I have Coretta constantly harassing me about everything saying I should take back the note and all I can do is roll my eyes and turn away. I feel like crying so badly. I feel like crying all day and all night. I just wanna put aside that stupid manly crap and break down like a baby, but I just can't do it. I just tell myself to take a deep breath and I plunge into paperwork.   
Coretta breaks the silence as she comes in from lunch. "Um, Larry," she's not alone. "Someone would like to speak with you," she looks at me kinda funny and then I stand up as a young girl and her mother are revealed standing behind her.   
"Larry Paul," I offer my hand, "Please, sit down," I indicate the chairs they're standing in front of.   
"Mr. Paul, I'm sorry to waste your time with this, but my daughter, Andrea, is being sued for breaking a prom date, and we thought maybe you could help us out. We've heard much about you and we want this resolved as soon as possible," she squeezed Andrea's shoulder reassuringly and I looked at Andrea as she rolled her eyes and moaned how embarrassing this was. This is silly, a broken prom date, somebody call 911! Some poor boy's heart has been crumbled into ten thousand tiny pieces. Funny, ha ha, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Here I am, putting down someone who has been dumped when I've just dumped, or been dumped, it was all a big blur right now I really couldn't remember who had done what, the one woman I love more than anyone or anything else in this world. Stupid Larry! Bad!  
I try and speak, "Well, this DOES sound somewhat ridiculous, I'll admit, but I'll see what I can do," I stand up and shake the woman's hand and smile slightly at the young girl. "Leave your number with my assistant, Mrs." I break, looking for a last name.   
"Mason," she replies.  
"Mrs. Mason, we'll be in touch."  
"Thank you," the woman smiled and they met Coretta who faked a smile.  
This is so stupid; every case I've been involved with has reminded me of Ally. There was that one case where this couple was divorcing because the man was having second thoughts about the marriage which had been what, 3 years into it. The woman was going crazy wondering what went wrong and the man could provide no help whatsoever except to say that it just didn't feel right anymore. Made me think about the waiter screwing up the desert and how I never did tell Ally I was going to propose. Helena was right, going from almost proposing marriage to breaking up was not logical, but what could I do? Not a damn thing.  
"What a silly case!" Coretta exclaimed, interrupting my thoughts. She looked at me and could tell that my thoughts were, once again, on Ally. "Larry, I don't know what to say to you but to go talk to her, tell her you were stupid and work things out."  
"Coretta, it's not that simple!" I began. All of a sudden, it became very clear to me. I couldn't stay there anymore. I couldn't stay in Boston when I know that Ally's just a phone call or a short walk away. I couldn't do it. "Coretta, I have something," I took a deep breath and loosened my tie. "I think, I think I'm going to leave Boston," I looked at her and she was totally stunned.   
"Well, but, Larry, your work, your clients, what about me?" Coretta was stuttering; it was kinda funny, I couldn't help but smile a little bit.   
"Coretta, you'll be fine, you're a good lawyer, and you can always call me for help or advice on anything," I tried to ease up the situation.  
"What about this case you just accepted?" she seemed more worried about work now than anything else.   
"Well, maybe I'll wait until after this case and just not except any other ones," I said after a moment, looking at Coretta. "Does that ease your mind any?" I asked.   
"Well, I suppose so," the phone rang. "Hold on a sec," Coretta picked up the phone and her expression got weird. I looked at her, curious. She hung up the phone and looked at me. I hadn't really been listening to the conversation and then she spoke, "That was," she cleared her throat, I instantly knew it was bad, "the offices of Cage and Fish. Apparently, they are the opposing counsel in the Mason case."   
I sat down suddenly, stunned. I mean I knew I would go up against them, maybe her, but just, it didn't really, you know it never really hits home until it happens. Okay, deep breath Larry. "Well, um, do you know who's on the case?" I was able to squeeze out.   
"Well, Mr. Cage was on the phone and he said that, that Ally was on the case," Coretta half closed her eyes waiting for a reaction.   
Oh my God, this can't be happening. I can't handle this.   
"Larry, are you all right?"   
"Um, yeah, um, no. I think," I stood up. "I think I'm going, yes I'm gonna, I'm going back to Detroit. Um, tonight." I got up and left the office. I could feel Coretta's confused and startled eyes looking past me.  
  
***  
  
I spent most of the afternoon sitting on a park bench staring at all the happy people that came walking by. I saw children playing and got somewhat excited thinking that I would soon be with my son as often as I wanted. Then, upon seeing happy couples holding hands, walking dogs and such, I thought about Ally and how I couldn't go against her in court; I just couldn't handle it. She would probably be upset and sad and I, God, I just can't see her like that and know that it's me that's doing that to her. Detroit is the best thing.   
All of a sudden my cell rang and I jumped. It was Coretta. "Larry, hi, um, are you really REALLY leaving?" she asked, with a hint of worried ness in her voice.   
"Coretta, hi. Um, yeah, I am. I have to. I have nothing here anymore. I'm really sorry to leave you in the lurch like this. Um, I'll give you a recommendation to anyplace you want, if that's what you're worried about."  
"Well, not REALLY, I mean a little, but more less worried about how you're coping. Where are you?" she asked after a pause from both ends of the conversation.  
"Oh, nowhere. I will call you when I get to Detroit okay? Give my apologies to the clients, if you will."  
"All right, I guess there's nothing else I CAN do," she paused. This seemed hard on her. "Take care of yourself Larry, all right? And don't forget, I'm still here," she hung up the phone.   
  
***  
  
It's a dark dark night tonight. Darker than usual it seems. The flight has been rather smooth I must say though. I've spent most of it just staring out the window at the clouds and the moon. The moon really is beautiful, but it's awful frightening when you're, yes Larry you can say it, alone. I, Larry Paul, am once again, successfully alone.   
But it's better this way, right? I mean that way, I can't hurt her by leaving her when things are REALLY serious…for example, kids. Ah, Sammie, I do love that boy to death. I could always tell her that I moved back here to be with him. No, did that already, stupid Larry! Well, no, it couldn't work; he wasn't even the topic of discussion. It was me, stupid Larry, stupid ol' me. Of course, no matter what I do now, she wouldn't have me back. She probably hates me right now, which is good I guess…that way she'll get over me easier…I hope…  
  
***  
  
"Dad!" Sam came hurtling towards me as I exited the runway. What an adorable kid. I remember Ally calling him adorable. Since then, that's all I can think of to call him, adorable. His hyper activeness really does make me laugh though. He's so energetic. I love this boy.  
"Sammie!" I drop my bag and swoop him up in a tight hug. I glance at Jamie standing quite a distance back. This is exactly what she wanted. She wants me back, and she's probably hoping that she can have me back because I am here and not in Boston, for good. No, she can't have me, if anyone could have me, it would be Ally, back in Boston.   
I take a deep breath and set Sam down, grab my bag and move towards Jamie. "Thanks for picking me up," I simply say.   
"Where are you staying?" she looks at me, with hope shining in her eyes.  
I shoot her down, "A hotel until I find a place of my own."  
"But dad! You can stay with us! In my room with me!" Sam's eyes are just glowing and it's REALLY hard to turn him down, but I knew I had to.   
"I'm sorry buddy, but I can't. I need somewhere to be alone with myself. I have a lot on my mind you know," I look at him apologetically and ruffle his hair a little bit with a slight smile on my face.  
"Ally?" he sure didn't hesitate on that one. What a smart little boy I have. Ally always used to say just like me, AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!! STOP THINKING ABOUT HER!!!! She's gone! Forever! Get over it!!!! Okay, take a deep breath.  
"You're right buddy, we didn't part on such good terms, but that's okay because I'll be alright," I attempt a smile that usually works, but for my smart little boy, as Ally always used to say, okay DEEP breath Larry, he knows better than that.   
"No you won't, not right away, but I will help you, okay?" he looked at me, his eyes shining. What an adorable little boy, oops, there's that word again. AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
***  
  
Well the first two weeks went by with no more apparent harm done. I still think about Ally, oh, every two seconds, but I guess it's all a part of the healing process right? I remember sitting in the hotel room holding the remote and thinking about what happened with Jackson and Ally. It got a little chuckle out of me, but then I wished Ally's hand was on mine…okay Larry, STOP IT!!!! This is going to be harder than I thought. I've been looking through the classified ads for apartments all week and found a couple that sounded intriguing and I stopped by, but every single one reminded me of Ally and Renee's apartment. It used to be mine, oh boy, here we go again. A couple of tears came to my eyes and I tried to blink them back. Okay so what am I looking for in an apartment? A shoebox, yep, that's it…nope, that would probably make me think of Ally too. I'm so hopeless.   
The phone rang and I jumped a good two feet in the air. "Hello?"   
"Larry! Hi!" It was Coretta; it was kind of a relief to hear a friendly and familiar voice.  
"Hey you, what's up?" I replied, noticing a slight change in my voice.   
"Well, I just called Jamie and Sam's house to talk to you and Sam gave me this number. He's such an adorable kid ya know; he asked me if I was a friend of Ally's.  
Oh no, two strikes, that adorable word again and then Ally, again, yet something else to make me think of her, like everything else DOESN'T. "Yeah, he really is adorable. What did you tell him?"  
"Oh, I just said that I was your old assistant. Anyways, I have some news to tell you," she paused and cleared her throat. Oh no, not good.  
"What's up Coretta?" I said, apparent worry in my voice.  
"Well, the first thing I wanted to tell you is that I won that stupid pathetic case you accepted before you left and Ally was, to say the least, surprised you hadn't taken it and had left to Detroit. I asked if you had called her, knowing you didn't because you're too damn stubborn, and she said nope. She tried to sound cheerful, but I of course am smarter than that," after a pause she had to break my heart into a billion more tiny pieces, "she's not good Larry."  
Do you really think I don't freakin' know that? My god! I'm not stupid Coretta! "What was the other thing?" I tried to push away what she had just said about Ally.   
"Well, I applied for a job at Cage and Fish," my heart fell. "They accepted me, but John Cage wanted a letter of reference from my old employer, you, so here I am, asking you for one," she tried to sound upbeat about it, she's smarter than I sometimes let her be. She knows damn well I wanna ignore what she said about Ally. No matter what my actions say, she knows I don't wanna think about Ally cause it hurts too much. Damn she's smart.   
"Um, alright, I can do that, do you have the fax number I can send it to?"   
She mumbled and was obviously ruffling through papers. As I waited, I thought about the first time I met Ally and she grabbed her tremendously huge file from me. God she was so beautiful, IS so beautiful. "Here it is!" She started reading a number as I wrote it down on that weird colored hotel stationary.   
"Anything you want me to say specifically, like maybe how you like to interfere with lives and all?" I added a bit of humor to that.  
"Very funny Larry," Ally used to say that, ugh, here we go again, "just anything you wanna say Larry, specifically about my LAWYER-EXPERTISE thank you!" she could have humor when she wanted to, I have to admit.  
"They can always call me too Coretta about anything they have questions on," I paused and she didn't say anything either. Damn this is kind of awkward. "Well, I guess I'll let you go now, good luck with everything."  
"Call her Larry," damn, she said what I didn't want her say.   
"Coretta, leave it alone, okay? I'll be okay, she'll be okay, it's better if I just stay out of her life and be alone. I really need to be alone. I can't be a part of anyone else's life right now because mine is so horrible, so please, just leave it alone."  
"Well, when you think about calling her, I think it might do you good, something's up and I'm not too sure what," there was some worry in Coretta's voice and I knew she wasn't bullshitting me this time.   
"Coretta, what's up with Ally?" I finally said her name, the first time since I left, wow, it didn't even affect me like I thought it would. Something was up, and I was nervous.   
"Call her Larry, that's all I'm gonna say, thanks for the recommendation, and take care of yourself," she hung up the phone.   
Shit, what's going on with Ally? Now I'm really worried. I looked at the clock. Time to pick Sam up from school.  
  
***  
  
"Dad!" the same motions as the past month, Sam would yell at me and jump in my arms, I'd carry him like he was a flying airplane to the car and he would squeal with delight. For an eight year old, he sure did still have a lot of energy. We celebrated his birthday last week at his mom's house, he had a birthday party and his mom asked if I would come and help. Jamie, surprisingly, has laid off. Maybe she, being a woman and all, senses that I'm hurting and decided to leave me alone about it. "Can we go for ice cream dad?" Sam interrupted my thoughts and I set him down.  
"Sure buddy, oh wait, what are you having for dinner?" I joke around with him.   
"Dinner's with you tonight silly!" he laughed at me.  
"Oh yeah, that's right huh?" I chuckled myself. "Ice cream's fine buddy," I put him in the car and he fastened his seatbelt.   
I went to my side and got in. I turned the car on and Sam interrupted my empty thoughts. "Have you talked to her dad?" he was looking at me.   
"No buddy, I haven't. She's probably moving on with her life, it's better that I stay away now.  
"No dad, I don't believe that. I know how much you love each other. You still love her and I'm more than positive that she still loves you."  
Had Coretta been talking to him? I couldn't help but chuckle silently at that thought. I remembered what Coretta had said about something being wrong with Ally. I think about that all the time. I wish I knew what. I wish I had the right to know, but I don't. I walked away from her and left her alone all over again. Something I swore I'd never do again. I DID say 'forever' when I came back didn't I? Sheesh, I got some problems.   
"Call her dad!" he picked up my cell phone, which had been lying down in between us.   
I looked at him, "Are you serious Sammy?" I raised an eyebrow and inside of me is screaming CALL HER!!!!!!! CALL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Sam just looked at me and laughed out loud. "Come on dad! You KNOW you still love her and you can't lie to her, yourself, or me anymore. I know you can't be doing so well when you go home at night to that shoebox you like to call a home," the shoebox, I remembered knowing that's exactly what I wanted to find when I found a place to live, that way it wouldn't remind me of Ally's place, even though I knew in some aspect, it would, just like everything else.   
I took a deep breath and took the phone from him. I was about to dial when I just stopped. I put the phone down, "No Sammy, I can't just barge right back in her life and be like, 'Hey! How are you? Remember me? I'm the one who left you with a note, AGAIN!' I can't do that Sam, it would hurt her even more than I know she's hurting."   
Sam slumped back in his seat and folded his arms, looking defeated. "Well ya can't say I didn't try dad, but you will," he looked at me, "you will regret this," he left it at that and looked out his window.   
What a smart little boy, damn, I screwed up didn't I? I knew I shouldn't have left her, but what choice did I have. She had already broken up with me, I'm sure she wanted this. Dammit, who the hell am I kidding? She didn't want me to leave. Why else would she have bothered talking to me or listening to me talk?   
As we pulled into the driveway of the ice cream parlor, I told myself, I would call her, inevitably, I would call her…  
  
***  
  
That night, I sat at home, staring at the phone. It was like I was expecting it to ring. I wanted it to be Ally, who mysteriously found my phone number and wanted to tell me that she wanted me forever and always and would wait for me. No, I don't want her to wait for me, that's unfair. Then again, if she hasn't dated anyone, maybe that's what she is doing. Man, this is going to be tougher than I thought. I'll call Coretta, yeah, that's what I'll do, see how Ally's doing first before I call her, that way I'm more prepared for what I'm going to deal with, yeah, that's it.   
I picked up the phone and dialed Coretta's home phone number. "Hello?" she picked it up.  
"Hey yourself!" I said cheerfully.   
"Hey," she answered nervously.   
I immediately sensed something was wrong. "What's up Coretta?"   
She excused herself from someone, I don't know who though. "Larry," she came back in a whisper, "what's up? Why are you calling me?"   
Something was wrong. "Can't I call a friend and see how things are?"   
"Larry, seriously, what's wrong?" she continued to whisper, even softer when she said my name.   
"Well," I took a deep breath, defeated; I had to be honest with her. "I wanted to call to see how Ally was. I was going to call her, but I wanted to call you first and see if it could be debated that it would be alright," I waited for an answer and got nothing. "Are you there Coretta? Is something wrong with Ally?" there was more worry in my voice.   
I heard a gasp on the other end when I had asked that question. It sounded familiar, wait a sec, oh my god, could it be? Was it? "Ally?" I heard soft crying.  
"Larry," I heard a whisper and then a sniffle.   
"Ally? Is that you? Are, are you okay? Coretta told me something was wrong before and I was too stupid to call before," damn I sure liked to talk fast, what WAS my problem? Shut up and let her speak!   
"Larry, um, um," it was her, stuttering and all. Cute, just like I remember her. "Yeah, it's me, I um, I,"   
I interrupted her. "I miss you Ally, I really do."   
I heard the phone drop and Coretta picked it up. "Larry, um, I'm sorry," she tried to recollect herself. "I wanted you and Ally to talk, but I guess she's not quite ready yet," I could still hear the soft moaning in the background. It broke my heart to hear Ally cry. She was in so much pain, pain that I had caused. Man, I'm such a goddamned fool to leave her like I did. Who the hell am I kidding? I can't live without her. It seemed that she couldn't live without me, is this a good sign?   
"Coretta, please tell me what's wrong with Ally. You had me worried before, and now I really want to know," I tried to be stern, but I was really close to crying myself.   
"Well, um," I heard a voice in the background try and talk to Coretta.  
"Give me the phone Coretta," Coretta didn't seem to put up much of a fight.  
"Larry," she was back! "I um, I am, I'm um," I wish she would speak already! She's driving me crazy! I heard her take a deep breath and then she began to speak, her heavenly voice made me melt, just like it always did. "Did I ever tell you that I used to see Billy in hallucinations? Probably not, well when you left, I saw him, for the first time since us, and the last time since you left. He told me that I had a happy life ahead of me and I told him that I always knew that and I didn't know what, why, or by whom. Um, the day I got your little note," I sensed the anger in her voice and cringed. Damn, I'm an ass! "I saw myself pushing a baby carriage down the street and, well, two weeks later, I pieced it together," Oh my god, what did she piece together? "I'm pregnant Larry," I gasped myself, something I've never done before. Oh my god, I really am such an ass!!!!   
"Ally, I'm, oh my god, I'm SO sorry! Why didn't you tell me?" I knew the answer to that question, STUPID Larry!  
"You left me Larry, like you'd really wanna know I was pregnant with your child. Funny, ha ha," there was suddenly sarcasm in her voice.  
"Um, okay, yeah, I knew that. Um, how far along are you?" my voice got suddenly timid, I felt like a little child.  
"About two months now," I heard her take a deep breath. "Why do you really care? You left me Larry, why do you even give a damn?"   
"Ally," I took a deep breath, it reminded me of when she said my name the first time I told her I couldn't handle goodbyes. Man I've been such a fool. "I have been miserable without you and I haven't been able to stop remembering you, us, the things we did together," it was my turn to take a deep breath. "I've missed you more than anything in this world. I still, I still, I still l-," I couldn't spit it out. "I still love you," I paused and cringed waiting for a response.   
"What is the real reason why you left me? That's the only thing I can't figure out. I wish I knew why, then maybe I could hate you. It would have made these past couple of months easier on me," oh god, she didn't, she doesn't hate me! Shit! What have I done??   
"Well, um," I cleared my throat; I knew she knew I was nervous. "I have always believed in omens. It was something Coretta there told me was stupid to believe in. I didn't believe that until now," just keep going Larry; tell her, TELL HER. "I was going to propose to you and the waiter screwed up the order," I heard a gasp, but kept going, surprised that Coretta didn't tell her already. "He brought out the wrong dessert and I took that as an omen. I wanted to talk to someone about my insecurities, so I called Helena. I used to do something with her whenever she was having a problem. I used to say 'Hey! The whipped cream is right there at the end of your nose'," I laughed softly and didn't hear her laugh so I continued, STUPID Larry! "Well anyways, um, that would explain the whipped cream on my nose. I've been very stubborn about us and the possible future we may have," I paused, "sorry, might HAVE had, and I just, cancelled out. I walked away from you thinking it was the best thing to do. All I wanted was to leave you be and not trouble you with my problems and my track record. You haven't been married so you couldn't know what I know and feel how I feel about failing at it."  
"LARRY!" oh no, yelling, this can't be good. "How the HELL can you put that on me? So I don't know what it's like to be married, someone sound the alarms! I never wanted to make a mistake in the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with. So at least I can say I never made the mistake of choosing the wrong person!" I heard her breathing heavily. God, any chance I might have had, shit; and she's pregnant with my baby, our baby, too, so much for any chance of being included in THAT child's life.   
"Look, Ally, I'm really sorry. It was how I was feeling at the time. I couldn't help it. But I, I don't, feel like that anymore."  
"Larry, I don't see how you can think it's so easy to just come right back whenever you feel like it. You know," she paused, she was thinking, this can't be good either. "I wished for the first month that you would come back and say what a fool you were for leaving, and tell me that you would never leave me again and for that to be the truth, just once, just once," she was getting choked up, I could tell. "But that's never gonna happen, I kept telling myself. Coretta said that you never mentioned me and when she would bring me up, you wouldn't comment, you'd get quiet or usually change the subject. That's when I knew, you were never coming back." I heard her start to cry and then Coretta came on the line.  
"Look Larry, I don't think you two should talk anymore right now. I'm glad you finally decided to call her and explain yourself like a man, but talking anymore tonight isn't good. Goodbye Larry," she hung up the phone. That's when I knew; I had to go back. I had to try and get her back.   
  
***  
  
I left the airport in a cab, telling the driver to drive as fast as he could. It was raining so he said he had to go extra slow, but it didn't stop me from yelling at him the whole way to Ally's place. Actually, I didn't even make it there, at least not in the cab. We were at a stoplight and I had had it up to here with the driver. I threw money at him and jumped out with my one bag and started barreling down the street, my glasses covered by rain, but I didn't care. I knew the way, I knew it by heart, and didn't stop until I reached the building. I looked up and then pressed the buzzer. Renee answered.  
"Hello? Who the hell is this? It's 4 in the freakin' morning!"  
"Renee? It's Larry, please, buzz me up!" I said frantically.   
"Larry? What the hell are you doing here? You got a lot of nerve boy! Showin' up like this!" Shit, she's pissed off, this isn't gonna be easy.   
"Renee! Please! I need to see Ally!" I was yelling now.  
"GO AWAY!" she left. I remembered I had the key and I started looking for it. I opened the door with excitement and rushed up the stairs. I was going to open the door up there, but I stopped. I didn't wanna be TOO rude. I knocked on the door. Renee opened the door, which was chained shut. "Larry, what the hell are you doing here?" she repeated, somewhat glaring at me.   
"Renee, I need to speak to Ally. Please, just, let her know I'm here," then I saw Ally take Renee's place.   
"Larry, what are you doing here?" she asked softly. This was hard on her, no, it was best that I came, really it was.   
"Ally, I, I just wanted to say, in person, how sorry I am. I wasn't lying on the phone tonight," I looked at her with tears in my eyes; it was hard to speak.  
"I know you weren't Larry, but," I saw her grab her stomach. Oh my god, the love of my life is pregnant with my child. I sighed and looked at the ground. I really fucked up.  
"Ally, I don't know how to make up for what I did. I don't know if there even IS a way to make up for what I did, but I will do anything, ANYTHING, to get you back. To love me, and believe that I will NEVER leave you again.   
She turned around and leaned against the wall, slowly creeping her way down to the floor. I followed her down to the floor, waiting for my angel to speak again. "Larry, I don't know if I can trust that you won't do this again. Leave me, with another damn note, and then, god, I so wish this could be easy. You have no idea how badly I want to melt in your arms again," she was crying softly now. Bad Larry! How could you do this to her! BAD!!!!  
"Ally, please, open the door," I begged. She slowly rose and undid the door, then walked towards the couch. I remember that couch. The one we bought when we redecorated when I moved in. Tears are coming to my eyes just thinking about it. I slowly walked in and closed the door, never taking my eyes off of her. I've missed her so much; I've missed my Ally.   
"I don't know how you can make up for this," she said, sounding monotonous.   
I came up behind her and put my hand gently on her shoulder. God it felt good to touch her again. I've missed that; I've missed her. A tear rolled its way down my cheek as she looked up at me. I wiped it away. "It's okay to cry Larry, trust me, I did it for quite a long time, hell, I still sometimes do it. I just kept thinking that our child would have to grow up without a father," she clutched her stomach again and looked away, I knew what was coming, "like Sam," I knew it.   
I came around to the front of the couch and knelt down to face Ally. I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. "Ally, I don't know how I can ever leave you again. I just don't see it being possible," she started to cry again as we looked into each other's eyes. My eyes followed hers as she looked down at her hand in mine. I slowly brought it up to my lips and kissed it ever so gently. I felt her whole body convulse and her lips started quivering.   
"Larry," was all she could manage to whisper. I stood up and sat on the couch next to her. I pulled her into my arms and when she didn't resist, I squeezed her tightly. She just melted in my arms; I could feel it. This was where we belonged. In each other's arms, together, forever.   
I looked down at her and she pulled away slightly. I became worried, what was she doing? She looked me in the eyes and I knew. I leaned in slowly towards her. "I love you Ally McBeal," I whispered softly as I kissed her lips gently, so gently. God I've missed this. Her kisses always were so sweet and rewarding. It made me feel like I got up every day just to kiss her.   
"Are you going to leave me again?" she asked as she pulled away, leaving me stunned and wanting more.   
"Um, I don't think so Ally, I don't think I could ever do it again. I mean you know what happened, you know how I was feeling. If this ever was in question again," I looked at her questioning face upon that remark and quickly corrected myself, "and it won't, you could always tell me if it's this, then don't be so nervous, or something to that effect."   
"Larry, if you ever leave me," she grabbed her stomach again, how cute, "leave us, I don't know how I will survive."  
"You won't have to Ally, I won't ever do this to you again," I pulled her chin up and gazed into her beautiful eyes, "Let's do this without the fruit cobbler. Ally McBeal, will you marry me?" I took a box out of my jacket pocket and opened it. Her eyes were glistening as I took the ring out of the box and slid it on her hand. All she could do was nod.   
"I love you Larry," oh those words, so sweet; I LOVE hearing those words. What a lucky man I am; oh so lucky.   
  
  
  
The End  
  
  
  
  
  



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